i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
