Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
