i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
