strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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