I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
