i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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