u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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