Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
