id be glad to
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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