the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
