So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
