dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
