using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
