There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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