My friends, they love my intelligence
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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