He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
