How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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