who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Im part way to drunk.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
