it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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