mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
