I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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