If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
