you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
it glows. i had to have it.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
