Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Be still, my beating vagina.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
