I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
