Duck Duck Cougar?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Green mimosas i think yes
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Randomize
