Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
