He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
