my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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