I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
