so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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