I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
