There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
