Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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