That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
