Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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