Apparently you make a good broom.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just pee around me
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
