WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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