im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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