"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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