thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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