I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
