Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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