i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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