dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I have post one night stand depression
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
