everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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