ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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