Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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