His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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