I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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