oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
