I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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